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A Cowboy's Kiss Page 4
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Anna didn’t know how to respond. She felt as if she should apologize for worrying Paige, but it wasn’t her fault she’d been in a coma. Or was it? The truth was, she didn’t know. And that gaping hole in her memory suddenly scared her. What if something had happened to her to cause her to wreck her car? But her doctors would have found it if that was the case, right? Instead of borrowing trouble, she shifted her attention to Paige’s revelation about Roman reading to her. That didn’t seem like something a physician would do. A rehab person or a therapist maybe, but Roman was neither of those things. Not even her doctor.
“Why would he do that?”
Paige shrugged. “He’s a good guy?”
Her friend was probably right. More and more memories were coming back as the hours passed, and what Anna had remembered of Roman was that he was friendly, kind, if always seeming to be a tad preoccupied. She supposed it was difficult for a physician to turn off thoughts about patients when they weren’t at work unless they were cold and heartless. And though parts of her memory were still hazy, she knew that Roman was neither of those things.
“Have you remembered anything that happened?” Paige asked, taking the conversation in a different direction.
“About the accident?”
Paige nodded.
“No. It’s as if someone carved out the part of my brain that held those memories. The last thing I remember is helping Izzy Marion check out a stack of books at the library.”
Paige smiled. “We should give her some sort of award for being our best patron.”
“Not a bad idea. If we had a summer reading program for adults, she’d win hands down.”
Izzy had moved to the Logan Springs area a couple of years before and was one of the coolest, most eclectic people Anna had ever met. She lived in an Airstream trailer while she was building herself an off-the-grid cabin, thus why probably half the books she checked out were about self-sustainable living. The other half was a mixture of titles about nature, photography, travel, philosophy, and hiking guides as well as a wide array of fiction. The art she created was as eclectic as the artist.
“How long ago was that?” Anna asked.
“Close to a week before your accident.”
Anna noticed how the smile on her friend’s face wobbled then fell away.
“What is it?”
Paige took a deep breath. “You scared me half to death. I’ve never known anyone in a coma. It’s something you read about, see in movies, not something your best friend goes through.”
“I’m sorry.”
Paige shook her head. “Don’t apologize. It wasn’t as if you chose to put yourself in a coma. But…Anna, it’s a miracle you lived.”
“How bad was it? I mean, they’ve told me it was bad, but I don’t know exactly what that means.”
Paige looked unsure how to answer.
“Just tell me. Nothing you say is going to shove me back into a coma. I saw myself in the mirror already. I know I have a fair amount of blue, purple and yellow blanketing my body at the moment.”
Paige hesitated a moment longer then pulled out her phone. She scrolled for a few seconds then extended the phone to Anna.
When she got a good grasp on the phone so she wouldn’t drop it, Anna braced herself before looking at the screen. When she did, a shock wave rocketed through her. Paige hadn’t exaggerated. Anna was sure dead bodies had been pulled from cars with less damage.
“How am I even alive?” How had she ended up in that smashed piece of metal?
“You are one lucky woman. Honestly, I think you should buy a whole roll of lottery tickets.”
Anna snorted a little at her friend’s attempt to lighten the mood. Then she examined the photo again, marveling that not only had she come away from the accident alive but with fewer physical injuries than one might expect.
“I honestly don’t care how you survived it,” Paige said, more serious, “just that you did.” She reached over and squeezed Anna’s arm.
Anna choked up at the raw emotion in her friend’s expression. “I’m okay. And I plan to get out of here and home as soon as I can because, one, I hate the smell of hospitals and, two, I keep thinking about how much more it’s costing me with every minute that passes.”
“Don’t worry about that now. Job one for Anna Kenner is getting better.”
Anna told her about everything she’d learned from Rehab Jay, the nurses, the doctors. How Roman had come by several times to check in and say hello.
“I guess if you have to be in the hospital, it’s good to have such a hottie for a doctor.”
“Roman’s not my doctor.”
“Even better. No professional conflicts.”
Anna shook her head at her friend, choosing to ignore Paige’s not-so-subtle hints.
“Who is your doctor if not Dr. McHottie?”
“Dr. White is the neurologist, but Dr. Mills is the general MD.”
“Well, he’s nothing to sneeze at either. Just think if you’d gotten some crusty old coot who called you ‘Doll’ or something equally cringe-worthy.”
“I’m more concerned about having a competent doctor than having a ‘hot’ one.”
“But you agree he is hot, right?”
“Which one?” Anna asked, trying to avoid answering the question.
“Either, but I was talking about Roman.”
Anna didn’t know why Paige was asking her such a question when the answer was obvious.
“He’s certainly not ugly. You interested in him?” The amount of jealousy that bubbled up inside Anna at that possibility surprised her. Sure, she’d admired Roman’s and, honestly, his brothers’ looks before. Who wouldn’t? They were the epitome of sexy cowboys, and their parents had evidently raised them right because they always said hello and tipped their hats whenever she crossed paths with them.
“No. You’re missing the point entirely. You see the man every day, one on one from the sound of it. Might as well take advantage of your current situation, turn a negative into a positive.”
Anna just stared at Paige. “I don’t think I’m the only one with a head injury.”
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. You’re pretty and sweet and smart. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“I’m just fine on my own.” Life was simpler that way. People couldn’t disappoint you if you didn’t let them get too close.
“All I’m saying is that it couldn’t hurt to talk to him, get to know him better.”
“Paige, what we tend to talk about is why my brain still feels fuzzy sometimes and how I’m weaker than a newborn kitten. Not exactly romantic.” The very idea of any sort of romance between her and Roman McQueen was preposterous. Her grandmother had instilled in her that one did not reach beyond their station. While Anna would admit that sounded like some sort of Regency-era rule, she also knew that if you set realistic goals in life you were less likely to fail. Anna had to look no further than her own mother to see the wisdom in her grandmother’s words.
One could stretch in some aspects of life while also being realistic. The trick was finding the right balance.
“Then talk about something else,” Paige said.
“What in the world would I have to say of interest?”
Paige leaned back and sighed. “You’re a smart woman. You can figure it out.”
Anna really needed to get better so she could go home. There she’d be safe from the temptation to act on the ideas Paige was putting in her head. But down that path lay only disappointment. She’d done her best to put past disappointments behind her, to build a life that made her happy. Sure, in her real life there were none of the thrilling adventures, daring escapades or heights of emotion she so often read about, but fiction was fiction for a reason.
Despite her best efforts to shove Paige’s words out of her head, they decided to play on a loop instead even after her friend headed back to Logan Springs. When she couldn’t even concentrate on reading, she felt like throwing the book across the
room—a very un-Anna-like thing to do.
Instead, she threw herself into her physical therapy, pushing herself even when Jay said she’d done enough.
“What else am I going to do?” she said, doing her best to ignore the shaky fatigue in her legs and the pounding in her head. “Lying in that bed lost its allure about three seconds after I woke up.”
“Still, if you overdo it, you’ll be sorry. And I don’t want to get on Dr. White’s bad side. Or that of Dr. Mills. Or Dr. McQueen’s, for that matter. Basically anyone with ‘Dr.’ in front of their name.”
“They have a bad side?”
“Dr. White, yes. Dr. Mills, no idea. Dr. McQueen…okay, fair point. He’s as nice as they come. But he’s also very involved with his patients’ care.”
“He’s not my doctor, so you don’t have to worry about that one.”
“But I do work with him regarding other patients. Plus, everyone knows you’re friends.”
She wouldn’t go quite that far, though a part of her wished that was why he spent time with her rather than some sort of strange sense of responsibility just because they went to school together. She ought to be thankful, but damn if Paige’s words didn’t make her want to be more than just an acquaintance, more than the patient of his business partner.
“Maybe you’re right. I should sit.” She refused to accept that some ill-advised disappointment had robbed her of the last of the strength she’d mustered.
Jay smiled in an understanding way, though he couldn’t possibly know the turmoil racing inside her damaged head.
That was it. The accident must have knocked any good sense she had right out of her head.
Jay knelt in front of her once she was seated in the recliner, and she realized he was cute in that bookish, glasses-wearing way that made her think she and he might have more in common than she and Roman ever could. But then she noticed the ring on his left hand. Maybe once again fate was reminding her that happily ever after wasn’t something she should be seeking out.
Though she knew the world contained happily married couples, her experience had not once led her to believe that it was in the cards for her. Her grandmother had divorced shortly after Anna’s mother was born. Anna’s mom didn’t even have a husband when she’d had a baby. When she’d been younger, Anna had wondered about her father’s identity. But as the years passed, her grandmother had convinced her it was better not to know. She still wondered sometimes, but she’d rather not know than find out he was some sort of class A jerk or mooch on society.
Anna had dated on occasion, but her romantic history wasn’t exactly the stuff of legend either. Maybe she just hadn’t met the right guy. Or maybe there was no such thing.
“You’re doing really well, but you have to guard against going too fast, hurting yourself, and going backward instead of forward,” Jay said.
Though common sense told her he was right, frustration gripped her nonetheless. But she nodded that she understood. He patted her quickly on the knee before standing.
“I’ll see you tomorrow when I promise to kick your butt—to a point.”
That caused her to smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”
After he left, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes. Just how hard she’d worked caught up to her, and she found herself drifting. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been dozing when a new sound caused her to lift her eyelids a fraction. The sight of a new person in her room drew her attention. The man was putting something on the far wall. She opened her eyes all the way and realized the new arrival was Roman. For a wicked moment she allowed her gaze to drink in the rear view of the fine male specimen. How often did she get a chance to watch Roman McQueen without witnesses? Never, that’s how often.
She was so caught up in a fantasy of being able to watch him from every angle unseen that she nearly got caught staring at him when he turned around.
“Hey, there,” he said. “What do you think?” He gestured to a poster of a ladder on the wall, at the top of which was a drawing of a milkshake.
The sight of a doctor proud of what looked like something that would be on an elementary school classroom’s wall caused her to laugh.
“I can’t believe you actually did that.”
“Of course I did. I’m a man of my word. And because of that,” he said as he reached into the pocket of his slacks and pulled out a clear plastic package, “I hear you did well with your rehab today. So you get a gold star.”
And as sure as she was sitting there, he pulled a gold star sticker free from the sheet it was on and placed it on the bottom rung of the ladder.
Chapter Four
Anna’s laughter at his antics lifted something within Roman, the tinge of sorrow left in the wake of his mother’s death two years before. He didn’t consciously think about it, at least not all the time, but he supposed he’d known it was there. He’d gotten on with his life the same as his brothers and dad, but that didn’t mean the grief totally went away. Maybe it was because he and his mom had such a special bond forged within the walls of this very hospital and others like it.
But there was something so pure about Anna’s laughter that it felt as if the sun was shining on places that had been in shadow for quite some time. Some of those shadows had been there since he was a child. They were the ones he was afraid to expose to light, afraid if he did his cancer would come roaring back.
As a man of science, he knew the thoughts were ridiculous. Thoughts and fears didn’t cause cancer. The mutation of cells did, and his annual checkups were always clear. And yet each time he received results, he held his breath until he read the all clear.
“Do you do crazy things like this for your patients?” Anna asked, yanking him back to the present.
“If the situation calls for it.” He walked toward her and leaned his hip against the end of her bed. “And a promise is a promise.”
She pointed toward the poster. “I plan to get that milkshake sooner than everyone expects.”
“I hope you do. Jay tells me you worked hard today, but that he warned you not to overdo it.”
She pressed her lips together for a moment before speaking. “He did, but I figure if I don’t have anything else to do, I might as well work toward getting better and out of this place.”
“What, you don’t enjoy my company?” Now what had made him ask that? He should be encouraging her to heal, even if Jay’s caution was valid.
“You’ve been kind and helpful, and I’m thankful for that. But I doubt anyone wants to stay here longer than they have to.”
He nodded, remembering how desperately he’d wanted to go home when he’d been a patient here.
“You’re right about that. I know from experience.”
Anna looked confused, and he wondered if she’d remember his illness when they were kids even if she hadn’t sustained a head injury. But then the memory must have clicked into place because her eyes widened.
“I’m so sorry. I totally forgot about—”
He waved off her concern. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”
“Still, I’m sure they’re memories you don’t want to relive.”
“Yes and no. Having that experience helps me to empathize with my patients.”
“Is that why you became a doctor?”
“It is. And my mom said she thought I had the disposition for it, more so than a lot of the doctors she’d met throughout her life.”
“She was right.”
“Thank you. That’s nice of you to say.”
Anna lowered her gaze for a moment before lifting it back to his. “I’m sorry about your mom’s passing. I know that’s terribly late, but…”
“No need to apologize. We don’t exactly cross paths often.”
“True.” Anna glanced toward her nightstand, and he noticed she’d discovered the book he’d been reading to her. “She was always so nice and loved to chat about books when she’d come into the library.”
“She did love to read.”
r /> “How about you? I hear you’ve been reading to me. I…was surprised to hear that.”
“It seemed appropriate, you being a librarian. There’s still a lot we don’t understand about the brain, and I figured it wouldn’t hurt even if it didn’t help.”
Anna clasped her hands together in her lap as if she didn’t know what to say. Had he somehow embarrassed her?
“How are you liking the book?” she asked.
“It’s good. Honestly, I’m not a big fiction reader, but it sucked me in.”
They spent the next several minutes talking about the series, other books they’d both enjoyed, and how Anna had become a fan of mysteries as a child reading a bunch of old Nancy Drew books she’d found in a box in her grandmother’s attic.
“They made me sneeze, but I devoured them.”
“Is that what led you to want to be a librarian?”
“Probably. I remember after that I would check out however many books I could from both the school and public libraries. I’ve always liked losing myself in a story.”
There was nothing unusual about what she said. After all, lots of people could say the same or no one would sell books. But there was a flicker of something in her eyes before she averted them again that led him to believe there was more to the comment than a simple love of books. But it also felt like too personal of a question. It was strange to have to remind himself that their relationship was tangential at best. They’d been acquaintances for years, but he couldn’t say they were actual friends. Though he realized he wouldn’t mind that changing. Was it already?
He’d told her he did special things for his patients, and that was true to some extent. He tried to connect with them on more than a clinical level in hopes they would more likely heed his professional directives and suggestions. But he’d never promised any of them a milkshake or read to them while they were in a coma.
“My mom read to me to help pass the time when I was in the hospital.” He’d had no plans to share that piece of his past with her, but the truth had tumbled out nonetheless.